Happy Holidays!

It is Christmastime FINALLY!! By far my favorite time of the year- Hands down! We have been so busy this year- and it seems like November slipped away before I could even sit down and enjoy any of it. We had Thanksgiving at my house this year- with my brother's family and my Aunts family. I have never had it at my house before and needless to say- it was pretty packed. I even took my couches out of the family room and put them outside on the patio in the backyard so that there would be more room to put tables so that we could all sit together. It was quite a night!

We have been staying busy doing all sorts of Christmas projects and concerts. It has been wonderful. Homeslice has pulled every ornament off of the tree about 50 times- and Divalicious can't stop singing. EVERY single Christmas song you can imagine....every second of the day. It has been delightful- in a loud and off pitch kind of way. :)

The highlight so far this year for me was helping do a tree in Charlotte's honor for the festival of trees. It was so rewarding- and fun to decorate it with my closest friends, for a little girl that I loved like my own. Charlotte's tree raised $2300.00 for Primary Children's hospital. YAY!! I was so excited that it sold for that much! It was a butterfly themed tree- and I know that she would have loved it. Way to go Erin- you did great!!

November is National Adoption Month. Gold star on your forehead if you already knew that. :) Adoption has profoundly changed my family forever. When McCarrey and I first started trying to figure out how we were going to build our family. I must admit that it was very overwhelming. Not knowing whether to pursue continued fertility treatments, or give up and turn to adoption. I don't share this often- but I had an amazing experience in the Temple -that made that decision for me, and I have never looked back. We set out on the adoption path, and I will be forever grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who guided and lead us the entire way.

When we first decided that adoption was they way to go, we did a lot of research. There was a huge national study done in 2002. They were studying what decisions unwed expectant mothers made when faced with the decision to be a single parent. The results literally floored me. Over 50% had abortions. The remainder either married the birthfather, or decided to go it alone as a single mother- with less than 1% placing their child for adoption in a family. Over 50%- gone before they even had a chance at life. Also in that same study- they said that in 2002, there were over 1.47 Million abortions performed in the US, and only 127,000 children under the age of 18 adopted into families. That wasn't just infants, that was ANY child under age 18. Only 127,000.

I just want to tell everyone- how much gratitude and respect I have for my children's birthmom's. They chose life for my children. Considering their different circumstances- I don't know how they had the strength to make the choices that they did. They are incredible women- and I hope that I can raise the children that they lovingly carried to be as strong and as honorable as they are.

Adoption is such a blessing- For everyone that it touches. And I know that God has a hand in it. I know that my children were meant to come to my family. I knew that Kennedy was coming before I ever heard her birthmother's name. When we were waiting for Elijah- I heard his birthmom's name- just the first name- and told my husband, family and social worker that her child was supposed to be in my family. God definitely has a plan for all of his children, and I am FULLY enjoying that plan that he made for me.

Halloween 2009

Well- Halloween was great. Full of WAY to much candy and over sugared hyper kids. We went to a Halloween party on Friday night which was great- and even though I only have this one picture of it- you can imagine all the good stuff. It was great to spend the holiday with awesome friends. Then on Saturday- we went trick or treating with some friends- and poor McCarrey got stuck at home passing out gobs of candy to the trick or treaters. I prepared for 500 kids and we just about ran out of candy! AH! It was CRAZY how many trick or treaters we had! I don't know if it is because we live on the corner- or what- because at any given moment you could look out the window and there would be 50 kids sitting on the lawn outside. I guess that their moms would drop them off there and then after making the rounds on the street they would camp out on the grass waiting for their ride to come back around to get them. Crazy. Divalicious was a cowboy. Which was so typical for her. She didn't want to be a princess because she was worried that all the other girls would be princesses. So she wanted to stick out. She is so awesome. She went around all night yelling "Yee Haw! " which just made me crack up. Homeslice was about the sweetest little bear that you ever saw. But sadly the poor kid HATED wearing his costume and cried to take it off. So we really didn't get a lot of pictures of his costume. It made me feel to guilty to make him sit still for it. Oh well.

Way overdue update...

Well- Things around here have been busy to say the least. My sweet babies are keeping me on my toes every minute of the day. Kennedy's little brain seems to be taking off lately and she is learning how to spell little 3 letter words. It still blows my mind. I absolutely LOVE watching her little face as she scrunches it up in concentration as she tries to sound it out. She loves it when we read to her and is forever pointing and telling us what the different letters are. It is great. Elijah has had so many "firsts" this month. He is crawling all over the house now and is pulling himself up to a stand on everything and everyone. He is still so tiny- that it just seems crazy to have him be standing up! He is a mover and a shaker though- and there is never a dull moment with him on the loose. On a not so great note though- Elijah is still struggling to grow. He is actually losing weight and - It has been pretty rough with him. He eats great- but he just doesn't get a lot out of what he eats. His little body just isn't metabolizing the calories. We have done lots of tests with his doctors trying to figure out what gives...but so far it just seems like a "failure to thrive" case. It is quite upsetting to me- because I feel like I am trying SO hard to feed him whatever I can...and his little body is just starving itself still. He is barely over 11 pounds and he is almost 9 months. Which isn't all that great. He is still in 0-3 month clothing- and they are huge on him. The doctors are talking about putting in a feeding tube to try and boost his calorie intake. I am a little bit freaked out about that. I can hardly stand the thought of my little tiny boy trying to crawl and scraping a feeding tube across the floor as he goes. I find myself crying a lot about this little guy. Just SO worried about him.

On a little bit lighter note- McCarrey and I had some pre-scheduled vacation that we had to take last month. In years past we had always planned huge vacations for September- but what with Elijah's crazy adoption expenses- we decided to fore go the fancy trips this year. BUT! We actually were saved and able to do something anyway. (Saved.... I make it sound like we were in dyer straights!) Anyhow- my mom and dad surprised all of us and offered to take us to Zions for a few days. It was incredible! My brothers family was able to get off- and my folks rented two condos and treated us to a fabulous getaway. We hiked, rode horses, went on a back country "safari" tour, went swimming and just relaxed. The back country tour took us deeper into different parts of the canyon and also over to Grafton Ghost town, which was kind of cool. I had never been to a ghost town before. I had the most awesome time and it was so great to just leave normal life and relax. Sorry about the picture overload. While we were there- we took the kids to see the Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs movie in 3D. They all loved it- and even Elijah was able to sit still. I got this picture of him in the glasses and it cracks me up!!

This is how Mac was loaded down almost the whole trip! i kept trying to take one of the kids from him- but frankly I think he just like carrying his babies all over. He is such a proud dad!

This is the truck that hauled us all over- on the back country tour- it seated all 12 of us- and even had straps for Elijah's car seat. We packed a picnic and ate up on a ridge where we could see a panoramic view of the entire canyon. So beautiful.

Sorry that there is only pictures of me- but my honey was holding the camera...

Kenna loved riding the horses so much that she decided that she wants to be a cowboy for Halloween. Awesome.

Let's see...what else have we done the last two months. McCarrey and I celebrated our anniversary in August. We left the kids with Grandma and went to snowbird for the weekend. Can I just say- AMAZING! Aside from the fact that I got to be alone with my honey- we stayed at the Cliff Lodge and we upgraded to the spa level in a nice suite with a temper pedic bed. (sigh) so lovely. It was so great to just be up in the mountains and relax. We rode the ski lifts up and down over and over just snuggling and talking-which was very nice- and the scenery was incredible! We were able to swim and relax, we hung out in the jazz bar and ate chocolate fondue, and while we were there we went to Oktoberfest- which was ultra fun too. We will definitely be going back- maybe every year for our anniversary. I just loved it!

Well- Guess that's about it for now. Any extra prayers around- send them to my little guy- even if we could just figure out why...that would help. Thanks!

It's Official! He's ours!

Why is it that updating my blasted blog seems to always drop down to the bottom of any "to do" list that I have. Especially when my kids are so stinkin sweet- and I am missing the chance to post their latest and greatest adventures. But- like I seem so say every month- it has been SO crazy busy around here. Miss Divalicious is ruling the roost as always- and is loving up her little brother every single minute she sees him. And our little "home-slice" is eating up all of the attention. He ADORES Kennedy! Sometimes it just boggles my mind. I don't know how I would feel about it if I constantly had someone in my face who liked to lift me by my head and violently tickle me. (And I do mean violent- Kenna somehow thinks that the harder and faster she does it- the more he will like it...we are working on that one.)But he doesn't seem to mind and I love the fact that they love each other.


SO! What is new with our little family??? Only the most exciting news in the whole world! After MONTHS of waiting- Elijah McCarrey is OFFICIALLY ours!! YAY!! We recently finalized his adoption in court and took him to the Temple to have him sealed. It was wonderful- needless to say- I was a sobby mess most of the weekend. BUT! I have lots of pictures that I thought I would share. So- here ya go.




These first couple of pictures were at the courthouse when we went to finalize the adoption. It was awesome. When we went to court for Kennedy we actually were in open court- with the judge in his formal robes and the whole works. But when we got to court to finalize for Elijah- we were actually escorted into the judges private chambers and we did everything in there. Which I think I much preferred. It just made it feel like more of a celebration. We still had be sworn in and everything had to be done formal and right- but afterwards we were able to visit with the judge and she wanted to hold Elijah and we were able to just celebrate with our new little family and the judge and our lawyer. (Who was great by the way. We used David M. McKonkie- for anyone out there who is looking for an adoption lawyer.) The kids were really good- and they even gave us a videotape of the whole thing- so that was kind of cool. Anyhow as soon as the judge said- "It is hereby ordered that Elijah is officially declared our legal son" I misted up and started crying and then the judge starting scrambling to find tissues. It was just neat. So wonderful to know that he is ours. That last picture is of our new completed family and the Judge that presided for us.

This next set of pictures were taken the next day after we were sealed. It was really nice. Very, very small and quiet with just our little family. We had a rough time getting there- and it seemed like everytime I turned around we had forgotten one thing or another- but once you're inside the Temple all the craziness was forgotten. It was so fun for me- because I had this sweet little lady escort me to the Brides dressing room- and I got to be pampered and spoiled by the sweetest little temple workers. I really did love it because it was so fun for me to sit and watch the new brides as they were getting ready and it was like reliving my wedding day. I even found myself getting a little nervous and so much more excited to see my sweet husband at that altar. I have said it before- getting kids sealed totally ROCKS! It is even better than getting married because you get to repeat the exact same awesomeness- but with your sweet babies by your side also. What an incredible physical reminder of forever families! The kids both looked so darling! And considering the fact that Elijah hadn't had a nap yet that day- he did AWESOME! Not a whole ton of giggles and grins- but he didn't scream either- which I was SO grateful for. After the sealing we got to go outside and take some pictures which was kind of fun. Kenna seemed to love all the attention and really got into the fact that everyone thought she looked like a princess. That's my little Diva. Elijah just liked being outside- and I was just so happy to be with my new forever family.

And that's it! Our first official photo of our real, true to life, awesome, crazy, LEGAL, Forever Family! Woohoo!

I never feel like I have anything much to blog about. I have been sitting here at the computer for the longest time not having any clue what to write. SO! I thought I would wow everyone with our recent jaunt to Silver Lake. (I know- hold your enthusiasm...) It really was a good time- and it was SOOO beautiful! I could have stayed up there for days. I love that we have so many great spots like this so close to home- just a short 30 min drive up the canyon- and BAM- scenery like this. Kenna felt like an explorer- and had to show me every rock, tree, stick and bug. I have a thing for pine trees- and LOVE the smell of the bark. So Kenna would try and copy me and had to stick her face up against every tree that we passed. It made me laugh. It reminded me of that scene from "Superstar" where Mary Katherine Gallagher is making out with the tree. Hilarious!! If you haven't seen that movie- Rent it- I laughed my head off- dumb as heck- but hilarious!
Me and my girl- totally roughing it. Well- kind of... ok- it was a paved trail- and we only stayed for a few hours- but who cares.

The three loves of my life- who completely rock my world. Elijah was just SO interested in everything so he had to be facing out the whole time so he could see what was going on. He is teething right now and the little guy is a bona fide DROOL machine. I swear- it shouldn't be possible for one little boy to have that much liquid in his mouth. Ultra gross- Poor kid- the whole front of his little carrier was just soaking wet. And boy was I grateful that my ultra hot husband was the one packing him around!

See what I mean?! Poor little stinker! Oh- he is so sweet- I can hardly stand it!

Look how GROWN UP Kenna is here! AH! It kills me! My three year old looks like she could be five! She is such a gorgeous girl- and she had us rolling while we were there.

Well- That's it. I know- amazing huh?! On a completely unrelated note- I had to just shout it from the rooftops that we got a notice from our lawyer that we will be finalizing Elijah's adoption in court in just a few short weeks- and then we can have him sealed and blessed! YAY!!!! I am so excited! Sounds like a good excuse for a BBQ- Any reason for a party is good for me! Wanna come?

Time Flies...

Well- it is definitely time for an update. I have been such a slacker on the whole blogging scene. But- I haven't really had anything all that exciting going on. Just living life- if you can call that exciting. My children are literally growing up so fast and getting cuter and more brilliant by the minute. And everyday- I am more and more aware of how stinkin lucky I am to be their mother. Elijah has started growing a little bit now. THANK HEAVENS!! I started him on solids WAY early- but if that's what it takes to chunk him up- than so be it. We had the amazing Amy Jo, our good friend, take some pictures of our new family as the Fantastic Four- and now I can show off my little man with his new extra poundage on. This is Elijahs's first attempt at solids. He LOVED it.
What a sweet little guy!

As far as what is new for the month- not really a whole lot. I attended my 10 year high school reunion- (Which I always VOWED I would never do...Marsha better know that I love and adore her...) I guess that I always just figured- "Why do I want to go and reminisce about 4 years of drama..." But I went and it was ok. Saw alot of people, visited with some old friends, and was reminded again how much people can change in a short amount of time. All I can say is- Thank the stars above that I never have to do high school again- and thank heavens also for being able to laugh about it all now.

We also went to Taylorsville Days the other night. They were having a free summer concert with the Utah Symphony- which was really great! They played a lot of Big Band oldies, and some patriotic songs, and some Star Wars themes. Loved it. We spread out our blankets on the grass- bought Navajo Tacos- and layed out under the stars for the concert- and after it was over there was an amazing fireworks show. It was fabulous- and FREE! Ah! I love free stuff!

Today was a great day too- I got a girls play day- and went to the spa and out to lunch with Erin. We celebrated Charlotte's birthday by spoiling ourselves rotten. She was such an incredible little girl. Definitely taught me to cherish every moment- and be grateful for what I have. We all miss her. And MUCHO thanks to my AMAZING honey of a husband- who watched our kids while we were spoiling ourselves. He is so good to me- I don't deserve it. I keep expecting him to wake up- and realize that he doesn't have to spoil me as much as he does and I will still love him just as much...but every single day- he whips out something incredible and wows me again. What a lucky girl I am.
Well- that's it for now. Only one more month until we can take Elijah to the Temple. Ah- life is good.

Ok- I realize that is has been forever since I have updated. I just have been feeling a little crazy the last little while. We have had a lot of really fun things- and other things not so great- but that's life right?! So- I am officially back at work- which was a very difficult decision for me to make. I REALLY wanted to just stay home...but something about spending almost 30K to adopt our little Elijah- made me think that I ought to tough it out for at least a little while longer- until we can get our debt down a little bit and our nest egg up a little bit. Going back to work was good- in that I work with the best people on the planet. Seriously- they are really incredible- but leaving my kids after being home with them for months...that was a beast.

Before I went back- we decided to take Kenna to Disneyland for a weekend. And no joke- that's all it was. We were there for just a couple of days- but she loved it- and her Momma loved seeing the ocean! It had been SOOOO many years since I had seen an ocean and I was craving it. Elijah did amazingly well on the flight over- and was a perfect angel while we dragged him all over the parks. I still think that I prefer Disneyworld- but I will definitely say that it was nice not having as long of a flight as we do when we go to Florida.

Mothers Day was good. My husband and kids spoiled me rotten with breakfast and flowers and letters and cards. My husband bought me an awesome necklace and spoiled me with a gift certificate to my favorite spa. Ahhhh spa..... ok-ok- just had to have a moment there... It was a great day. Other than the fact that I had to speak in church- I enjoyed just spending time with my family.

Now for the not so good stuff. I am really worried about my son. I know that a lot of moms seem to just worry about everything all the time- and maybe there really is nothing to worry about....but my son isn't growing. He is almost 4 months old- and he BARELY weighs 10 pounds. He seemed to grow pretty good for the first month- but since I took him in at one and a half months- he has only grown 1 centimeter and gained a total of about 5 ounces. The doctor told me that for the first 4 months they should gain about an ounce a day. The kid eats like a horse!-but for some reason his body is not getting anything out of it. I have been taking him into the doctors almost weekly for weigh ins- and I have been trying to pack in extra scoops of formula into his bottles so that he will get extra calories- tracking every single ounce that we feed him- and searching and searching on the internet to try and figure out why a newborn won't grow...but that is where it sits. The Doctors say that if he doesn't gain in the next two weeks that we will start doing some more tests. We have already done some at the hospital- but not as in depth or detailed as it looks like we might have to do. I am really scared about the whole thing. Feeling really sick- like a pit in my stomach. It drives me crazy when I see people in the store and they come up to me so they can coo at Elijah and the first words out of their mouth are "Oh! He's getting so big!" and I just want to say- "No- he isn't! He hasn't grown even a little bit since the last time you said that and I don't know why- and I am scared- and want to just scream!" But I don't.

We also had a death in the family- McCarrey's grandma passed away- and it was completely unexpected and devastating. We will miss her like crazy! She was such a fiery woman- and I adored her. Well- that's about it for us. If any of you guys have any ideas on how to pack the pounds on my little guy- I am ALL EARS!!

Quick Update-

Sigh... I am back at work now after three GLORIOUS months of maternity leave. Can I just say to everyone how grateful I am for my AMAZING managers at Continental who were so wonderful to me and arranged for me to be able to be home with my kids. It was awesome to have so much mommy time and even though it kills me to have to go back to work- I am glad that I have such a great job to go back to. It is amazing how expensive adoption can be- and now that I have racked up thousands in debt... I have to go back to work to pay it off. I am so lucky that I only have to keep part-time hours though. And in all honesty- if I have to work anywhere- I am SO glad that I work where I do. I love the people that I work with- and the job is actually pretty fun. But...being a stay at home mom would be funner. Once I get my kids paid off....who knows!



I had the AMAZING experience this week- of being with a darling couple and sweet birthmom as she told them that they would finally be getting a new addition to their family. It literally made me cry. I was worried that I would be the sobbing one at the table- it brought so many memories and feelings back for me as I thought back on when I first heard that my sweet babies were coming. We introduced the couple to the birthmom and she ended up choosing them over everyone else she saw. Adoption is such a miracle to me. Anytime you can meet a perfect stranger and have such a strong connection that she feels comfortable in giving you her child...that to me is more than just circumstance. It was so neat to me to watch it from a different perspective this time. Seeing things more from the birthmother's perspective- and really trying to focus on her...while at the same time- wanting it so badly for the adoptive couple- and knowing just how up and down their emotions were on that crazy roller coaster ride. Being with them and seeing their reactions when she told them that she had chosen them to be the parents was a wonderful experience. So neat. I am so grateful for our birhmom's- and for the hard decisions that they had to make. I am so grateful for my kids. They have completely changed my life. So to Blake and Amanda- Congratulations!! I am so thrilled for you- and I can't wait to meet your new little girl!

Happy Easter!

Isn't this the most AWESOME picture! It seriously cracks me up! I laugh myself to tears every time I look at it.

I guess it is about time that I got around to posting all of our Easter adventures. I love Easter because it reminds us of the Resurrection and the rebirth of everything. I love watching the flowers come out and seeing the sun a little bit more. This year was no exception. McCarrey and I started early doing little Easter projects with Kennedy- and trying to help her understand the real reason of Easter- and not just the kid themed parts. We did plenty of that too though- so I think we got a pretty good balance. I have a DVD of the old clay-mation movie of the Easter Bunny and it is narrated by Fred Astaire. In it- Fred Astaire's clay figure does some classic dance moves and it absolutely delights me. I am almost embarrassed to admit that I just took crazy delight out of watching this stupid clay figure leap and spin around. Needless to say- Kenna has watched it around 500 times this month, so I will probably be set until next Easter rolls around.

Neil and Annie made a spur of the moments visit this month- YAY!! We had so much fun! We took the kids to the Children's Museum and to Kangaroo Zoo- which they LOVED, and all of us went out to eat at Teppanyaki...which I loved. I was so glad that they came down because we have missed them like crazy and I was excited for them to meet Elijah.

Oh my goodness he is SO SWEET!

We decorated Easter eggs on Friday and it was a grand and glorious MESS! Every egg was covered in dye, paint, glue, glitter, beads, stickers, and all sorts of goop. Bleh. Definitely not the kind of Easter eggs that you decide to peel and eat later. But the kids all loved making them. And I enjoyed watching them. We made a complete mess of the kitchen- but all in all it was great. It all started out as nice clean fun...and got messier...and messier until we were all covered in slimy goo. But it was so fun.

Our finished products...does it make you want to crack one and eat it right now?! Yup...me neither.

On Saturday we had an Easter Egg Hunt and potluck with some friends. It was kind of sad because we got rained out and ended up having to party in the church cultural hall instead of outside in the yard. But I think it was great anyway. The kids seemed to really have fun together and it was nice to hang out with friends. We are so lucky to be in such a great area with lots of fun couples and cute kids for Kenna and Elijah to team up with!

I love this picture of Mac and Zar with the kids. LOVE the bunny ears- so cute!

Kennedy picking up her treats at the Egg Hunt.

Elijah hanging out with his two bestest home-girls. What a stud he is. They were a little two young to join in the hunt- but they were sure sweet hanging together. After the hunt we teamed up with Erin, Zar, Katie and Alex for a night of Rockband. How much better does it get?! All in all- we had a great Easter with lots of family, friends and fun.