Happy Birthday!

Dear Kennedy,

Four years ago- I was running around-completely overwhelmed by your unexpected arrival. I had prayed for you, and wished for you for years- and then, literally overnight- there you were. The first time your Daddy and I got to see you, the nurses at the hospital were so happy and excited that we were finally together. They held a blanket over you and made us close our eyes for the "big reveal". The minute they whipped the blanket away so that I could see your beautiful big brown eyes, and your masses of black hair- I knew that I could never love another human being as much as I loved you. I stood in awe at your birthmother- and what a courageous beautiful woman she was. I was, and am, so proud that you came from such a strong and proud woman. I knew that it would mean good things in you.

You have filled my life with so much joy. Thank you for being such a great helper, and for being so sweet to your little brother. Thank you for being so curious about the world you live in- and for allowing me to show it to you. Thank you for your little "Diva" ways. Even though I roll my eyes and laugh- it delights me that you know what you want and you aren't afraid to ask for it. I learn so much from you. Thank you for our little talks when we are doing hair, for being so compassionate and giving hugs so freely, and for cracking me up with the crazy things you say.

I am so happy that we get to go through this life together. I am so lucky to be your mother. I love you more than I can say. Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mom

Christmas

(Awesome picture by Liz Lemon Swindle-she is incredible!)

I don't even know where to start. So much has happened since my last post. Our Christmas holidays started out so happy, and full of different activities and concerts. Neil and Annie came down from Seattle and we were all able to be together for Christmas which was so wonderful! We always have so much fun when they come and all of the kids love playing together. We sang carols and built snowmen, and it was so nice to be with family. But then- just a few days before Christmas- my cousin's 10 year old son was accidentally strangled and killed in a freak accident while playing. After that the world just seemed to stop dead in it's tracks for me. I was just so devastated and heartbroken for my sweet cousin and her family- And watching them try and deal with this horrific loss right at Christmas-time was just so hard. I found that I just couldn't even control my emotions, I just sobbed and sobbed- just so sick at heart for my cousin and her husband- and their little boy who is now without his big brother. And what can you say to someone who is experiencing something so horrific?! Nothing. There was absolutely nothing that could be said to ease the pain of it. Without going into tons of detail- I just want to say that this year- with all of the horror that came with losing Jake- I am more grateful than ever for the birth of my Savior. I can't even fathom losing a child- EVER! I literally get nauseous when I think about it. But, knowing that Jesus made it possible for us to be sealed as families, and that we will be able to see Jake again was such a comfort to me. It is through Him that Jake can be a forever family with his mom and dad and little brother that he left behind. And because we celebrate the birth of Jesus at Christmastime- that was such a poignant reminder for me. I am so grateful- that he was born- and that he lived and paid the ultimate price for me. I am so grateful for eternal families!
Happy Birthday Jesus. Thank you for coming- and for giving us a reason to celebrate.