Goodbye Charlotte

To our sweet Boo- We love you. You will be missed like crazy! We are so happy that you get to run and dance and play- and not be tethered down by your little body that kept you here. We can't wait to see you again- riding Molly and singing at the top of your lungs. We are so grateful for the chance that we had to get to know you- and to celebrate every moment of your life. You have truly touched our souls in more ways than we could express.

"They are idols of hearts and of households;

They are angels of God in disguise:

His sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,

His glory still shines in their eyes;

Those truants from home and from heaven,—

They have made me more manly and mild;

And I know now how Jesus could liken

The kingdom of God to a child. "

We love you Erin and Zar-

Quick Update-

I am in love with my children. I think it is safe to say that I am completely whooped. My family brings me insane amounts of joy. Aside from the fact that I married the perfect man- who completely rocks my world. I have two of the cutest little monsters that ever graced the Earth. Kennedy was so funny last night. We bought her a cabbage patch doll to talk more about adoption and taking care of a new baby and whatnot. We talked about how special the baby was because Kennedy could "adopt" her and how adoption is forever. Then later on that night Kennedy was "feeding" the doll- and I said "Kenna- what makes that baby a SPECIAL baby?..." and Kenna says, "Because she has lots of yarn in her hair like me!...oh- and she's adopted."..... Oh...oh yeah! Adopted...but the yarn hair is the cool part.....HA! Too funny.
Elijah is getting bigger by the second. He is starting to wake up a little bit more and more each day and we are starting to get to see his little personality more often. I can't wait for those first little grins and coos. Just try and tell me that just looking at him doesn't make you want to snuggle him!

Aside from all of the exhaustion of no sleep- while entertaining a three year old we had "hair" adventures this week. Kennedy got ahold of a pair of scissors and decided to go to town on her hair. AHH!!! I love that little girl more than anything--but after spending 10 hours braiding those braids in...and walking in the room seeing her little mullet... I wanted to die. BUT! It all turned out good in the end. I took the opportunity of having to braid sooner than I thought- and called up the amazing Kristin. (Who in my mind is supermom.) She also has adopted children and took it upon herself to learn how to care for their hair- and learn different styles- and she is so gracious and wonderful to share her talents with the likes of me...who has no idea what I am doing most of the time. ANYHOW- to make a long story short- I went over to her house for a couple of hours- and received some instructions and now my beautiful little girl has a new 'do. I LOVE the curls. I think it is so sweet and feminine. Kennedy also loves it- and is always shaking her head to make the curls bounce. It is really delightful. I love learning new things that I can do for her hair. And- as my first attempt at curly hair... I don't think it turned out half bad. (Makes me wish I could get away with doing it to my hair.) This picture is Kenna's hair after taking out all of the braids and salvaging what was left of her hair after the scissors.

And TA DA!! The finished product! YAY for new hairdo's!!

We are Praying for you Boo

Erin- if you are reading this- I just want you to know that I love you. You amaze me. You are such a wonderful mom and the greatest friend. I know that you are going through Hell right now. Just know that even though you are spending hours alone up at the hospital- and it feels like the whole entire world is moving on without your family...you have SO much support- and so much love coming your way. We love Charlotte so much. We are so grateful to have her in our lives. We are praying for her fast recovery- and for your peace of mind. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
And to anyone else reading this...take a minute and say a few extra prayers for Charlotte. She is fighting RSV in the ICU at Primary Childrens-and needs the extra help.

My little stud...

Here is my sweet little Elijah- what a stud!! He just makes me so happy when I look at him. He seriously has me wrapped around his little fingers- and my heart is his. I took these pictures a couple of days ago- and thought I would share. His birthmom is a HUGE basketball fan- so these were for her. Maybe a premonition of things to come?...or maybe just DANG CUTE!!!

I LOVE this picture. These three are the loves of my life. The three most important people in the world. The ones that I live and breathe for. It just makes me so happy when I look at it. Life is just good.

Boy oh BOY!!

Our baby is here!! YAY!!! But...Surprise! It's a boy!! Weight: 6lbs 13 oz Height: 18 3/4 inches. You seriously could have knocked me over with a spoon when our little Elijah made his grand entrance. We have been preparing for months for a girl... I had even gone so far as to put a pink and purple canopy over the crib. We showed up at the hospital for the delivery with bundles of pink blankets and sleepers. But- God had different things in mind for us and when Elijah popped out his little head and promptly peed on the doctor- they were like "Holy Crow- girls can't shoot like that!" And the whole room just squealed in surprise. We of course were completely thrilled. Anyhow- the moment we even heard our birthmom's name- I said to McCarrey- I don't even know the situation or if there are problems or anything- but that's the birthmom for us. She must have felt the same way because she picked us out of all of the profiles that she was given to choose from. She had had three different ultrasounds...and EVERY single one of them missed our little man! (And frankly I have NO IDEA how they could miss him! He is VERY obviously all boy!) But all of us went ahead thinking and preparing for a girl.Right after we got matched with her, I kept telling McCarrey- that I thought I would be content with just two beautiful girls- but that I just kept feeling like we had a boy coming. We had to find a way to be able to do it again- because all I could think about was a boy- and that he must be really jealous that this girl was going to be coming first. Little did I know that I was just being prepared for him to come then. All I can say - is that I truly know that this little guy was meant for our family. I know that this was God's way of telling me that HE is the one who will decide who goes where. And I know that it's not just any boy that was supposed to come- it was only Elijah. I wouldn't trade him for a million girls! We are just barely home from the hospital today. It had been an emotional roller coaster like none other. Our birthmom was so brave and courageous. I spent hours and hours with her- and she was able to tell me exactly how she was feeling as she placed him into my arms and hugged us goodbye. I know that it ripped her apart. I know that she loves Him- and I will forever be grateful to her. I am so glad that we were able to develop a relationship and that we will be able to keep up contact with her. God has given us so many awesome blessings! This adoption has once again reminded me of the fact that we are all here on the Earth as brothers and sisters...race, and status, and lifestyles and all of that other stuff isn't important. Just being good to each other is. I can never repay her for what she has given me. Now comes the hard part- no sleep and lots of diapers. And I can't wait.

What the?!

The other day I was in my bedroom folding laundry during the historic Presidential Inauguration. Kennedy was in her room playing with her toys- and she walks in my room with her arms completely full of "My Little Pony's" and the moment kind of went like this...

Kenna: "Hey Mom."

Me: "Hi."

Kenna: "That's Obama. He has pretty brown skin like me."

Me: (Completely stunned...what the?! How the heck does she know who Obama is at three?! I don't remember ever sitting her down and explaining who he is to her...and how amazing is my child that she is observant enough to know something so smart. :)- and how interesting that she was commenting on his pretty brown skin....)

Kenna: "First I thought he was Cinderella's Prince."

Me: (Huh?! What the?! I must admit he is a good looking guy- but where would she get Cinderella's Prince from?..then I remember that we just watched the "Brandy" version of Cinderella...ya...I guess if you put him in tights and had him singing opera and dancing at random moments... I guess I can see the resemblance...)

Kenna: "But he's not. He's just the President. He's just The Rock Obama.

Me: (Wow.......all the while chuckling that she called him The Rock Obama. My kid is amazing.)

Obama might not have been my first choice. But I have to say- all political opinions aside. It was a neat moment for me to watch the Inauguration as the first black President was sworn in. I love how most of the country seems to feel on fire. Whether or not they like Obama- the magnitude of the situation is awesome. I loved in His speech when he was talking about how 60 years ago his father might have been refused at the local restaurants because of his skin color- and now his son was being sworn in as the President of the United States. It was powerful to me having it fall so close to Martin Luther King Day- and focusing on just how far we have come as a nation in breaking the walls of racial prejudice and misunderstanding. It was awesome to have my beautiful black daughter come in and sit on my lap and see the President of US and say-"He has pretty brown skin like me." and know that as she grows up she will have many more opportunities to see people that look like her in prominent positions and with higher educations. So much more than even when I was younger. That makes me happy for her. And proud of how far we have come. Very cool.

Just a short Update...

I'm a rotten mom. I haven't posted any pictures of Kenna's birthday. We had a great time though! On her actual birthday we had a little party with Grandma and Grandpa Hancock-(Mac's mom and step-dad) It was great- and Kenna loved the balloons and the princess cake. I was so grateful that Grandma pulled a party together- because I hadn't gotten my act together yet and didn't really know what I was going to do that day. But! We had a great night with good food and awesome company and Kenna loved it. On Friday- we got together with my family and celebrated Kenna and Josh's birthday. (Josh is my nephew and he and Kenna's birthday's are one day apart.) We had an awesome time, complete with a wild silly string fight that filled my family room with 9 cans of multi-colored chaos from floor to ceiling. It was great. I did happen to get it all on video- including my dad's wild triumph at the end when he faked us out that his can was empty and completely trashed us all at the end. However- it's a crazy long video and trying to post it- would take me forever. So you'll all have to use your wild imaginations. :)
We went out to dinner with our birthmom on Thursday and met her for the first time. I can't even really describe how that was. We met Kennedy's mom in the hospital and spent a little bit of time with her- but Kennedy was already born and the papers were signed and it felt like a done deal in a lot of ways. This felt completely different. It was wild. I was a basketcase before we left. I had talked to her on the phone several times- so it wasn't as if I didn't know anything about her- but I guess there was just this hidden fear of what if she realized that I looked better in the pictures than in person and maybe she should have chosen someone better. Believe me- I've seen other profiles- I know that there are hundreds of families that she could choose from. At any rate- we went out- and it was great. She is just a ball of fire, courage and determination. We were able to talk about anything and everything and it was so crazy to sit and talk to her and think about the fact that if all goes well- the baby inside of her will be my daughter. It was incredible. Adoption is just such a miracle thing! It's so amazing to me to be on the receiving end of such an incredible gift. I am so happy that she is comfortable enough to have contact with us. I am a HUGE supporter of open adoption and I am excited that we will be able to keep up some kind of a relationship. I think in the long run it is going to be so much better for my girls. We have only a week and a half to go. I am so excited that I can hardly see straight. Scared out of my mind....but so excited.