Oh Happy Day!

Yesterday was the best day ever!! After 5 long years of wishing and waiting we were finally reconnected with Kennedy's birth-family! YAY!!
This has a long story to go with it- so hopefully I can relate it without it being too crazy-
But- when we first adopted Kennedy- for whatever reason- we were lead to believe by our agency that Kennedy's birthmother did not want to meet us, and that she wanted a closed adoption. We were pretty disappointed, but obviously every situation is so extremely personal that we really didn't want to pry. BUT- in the hospital we did end up meeting her and got to spend a few precious moments with her and Kennedy together- and then we signed the papers and went our separate ways. I sent letters and pictures to the agency all the time- just in case she changed her mind about wanting information and a relationship with us. I was assured that they were saving them in a file for her until she was ready to ask for them. But- as of a few months ago- I had been told that she had never sent for her mail. WELL- a couple of months ago- I started thinking about our amazing "L" non-stop, and Kennedy (on her own) had been peppering me with questions also and wondering if we would ever be able to talk to her. So I called our agency and talked with someone I had never spoken to before and I asked her if she would be willing to just try and contact her to see if they even had an updated address. Well she did- and the most amazing thing is that our "L" never did want a closed adoption! She was missing the relationship with us just as much as we have been missing her!She had been searching for us also, but didn't know our last name to find us. And she was overjoyed to hear that we had been sending letters and pictures and that she would get a chance to see Kennedy. The agency worker called me back and told me the news and I immediately sent out to write another letter and get some more updated pictures out with our contact info so she could finally find us. And yesterday we finally connected! We were able to talk on the phone for over an hour and it was absolutely wonderful!! I am just so thrilled- for Kennedy, for her, and for us! I don't know if I can adequately describe my feelings- so many times I have had people ask me how it is that I can be so at ease with my children's birth families- and the answer is so simple. I LOVE my children- these are my children's flesh and blood- and that makes them mine also. Our "L" made it possible for me to be a mother- she sacrificed and went thru Hell to give Kennedy LIFE- and a family that loves her more than anything. I love her like she is my family- and I am so thrilled that my beautiful daughter will not ever have to want for her past, or her roots, or family history- or even just the crucial relationships of people that love her as much as I do. It is just so exciting to me. I am so lucky that both of my children have those ties now. So to "L" and her beautiful family I say- WELCOME to ours! We could not be more thrilled to have you in our circle- and we are so excited to start building those family bonds with all of you!

Adoption Day

This past week I have had adoption on my mind. Yesterday my little family celebrated adoption day- it's our way of celebrating the anniversary of going to court and to the Temple. We do things kind of like a big birthday party- and my kiddos LOVE it. The dates for both kids just happened to fall in August- so we combine the two and do them both at once. It makes for a really great family day.

I remember so vividly my feelings as we were driving to the courthouse. After months of waiting and wishing I knew that the precious baby in the backseat would be legally declared my daughter/son. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on them that they were...but it was so wonderful to have the rest of the world know it as well. The court proceedings are very simple- and pretty quick, as far as most things in open court go. When we adopted Kennedy, there is one moment where the judge looked at my husband and I and asked us why we wanted to adopt her. My heart welled up with so much love and emotion- and I started crying and all I could squeak out was "because I love her." What I wanted the judge to know, was that ever since the moment she was placed in my arms I had never loved anyone more. That every time she cried my arms would ache until I could hold her to comfort her, and that my life would be forever dedicated to making sure that she would grow up healthy, happy and confidant. That I honestly felt like I wouldn't be able to breathe if I could not be her mother. But all I could get out was "Because I love her."

I told myself that for sure- when we were going to court with Elijah that I would have more control over my emotions, and I would be able to express everything I felt when the judge asked me "Why do you want to adopt this little boy." But again- my weepiness took over and I could hardly squeak out an answer. I felt better about that one though- because the judge got a little emotional also...so it wasn't just me. :)

Yesterday I woke up to two beautiful children jumping on my chest and screaming for me to wake up and start our fun family day. My little girl offered to do my hair for me- and proceeded to spray me with copious amounts of apple scented detangler. My tiny one- sat on my chest/neck with his huge and soggy morning diaper and told me he loved me. It was magic. Then I went in the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day and my little girl snuck into the bathroom and flushed the toilet and ran away squealing while the ensuing cold water made me scream. Then my husband and Elijah came in- and proceeded to let loose 2 rocket balloons that blew all over the room and scared me to death. I have never been so grateful for such an interrupted shower. I am so grateful to "L" and "D" for my family!! So happy that I have two incredible, amazing children that I love to the moon and back! Happy adoption day Kennedy and Elijah!

Defying Gravity

Hello all! This is McCarrey, I thought that I would take this time to break into Shannon's blog. I don't have to tell the world that Shannon is wonderful because they already know. But I am going to anyway. I have an amazing wife, who is a friend to all, a lover, a giver, an inspiration, an example, and one who consistently thrills me and gives me all the happiness and excitement that one could want.

Now not to toot my own horn, but I wanted to do something different for Mothers day and got her tickets to the Deer Valley Music Festival with the Utah Symphony and Idina Manzel. That was 2 and a half months ago. For anyone who may not know who Idina Manzell is, she was in the original casts of Wicked and Rent, she has also been in Enchanted, and Glee and more... I knew Shannon would love it.

We went to dinner before hand and shared a Apple pie Carmel apple from Rocky mountain chocolate factory and had a good time just being out and talking, it could have ended there and been great. Because of working the late shift and other things we have not been on many dates lately and it was wonderful.

Then we proceeded to the concert. The symphony played on their own first. They did some great numbers, and it was the last night of having Keith Lockhart officially a conductor of the symphony. They were very fun and it was nice to listen to the symphony outside with e the mountains and trees. Shannon said that the concert could have ended there and it would have been wonderful.

After the intermission, Idina Manzel came out. When I go to a concert and all the Artist does is sing songs then I think I could have saved money and listened to their music at home. When i go to a concert I want to see who this person is and to have then talk about the songs, why they chose them what meaning they have, and other things about themselves to learn that they are real people. Idina Manzel was herself, she talked a lot and sang a lot. She had the perfect mix of song and commentary. She was fine with getting off on tangents, telling stories of her life, shows she had been in, her family, talking to the people, and stories that were funny and others that caused her to get emotional. Her music was phenomenal, she sang songs that most people knew and then also some songs she had made up for her son of 23 months. Shannon could tell you which songs they were, I am good at enjoying but not remembering the specific songs. We both agreed that it was one of the funnest concerts we have ever been to.

Back to Shannon. I am glad that she had fun and to be able to spend such a wonderful evening together. One of the songs that Idina Manzel is known for is Defying Gravity, from Wicked. I feel that I am so blessed to be with Shannon that I defy gravity when we are together. Time flies by too fast and my feet don't touch the ground. I truly love her and am ever grateful for her in my life.


Not our picture, but just to give an idea of what it was like.

A Lullabye for our Birthmoms...

To our wonderful "L" and "D"- we love you so much! Thank you for our precious babies! I love this song.

You'll need to pause the music at the bottom to hear it.

Fall-time fun...

Ok...I have come to grips with the fact that I am a rotten blogger. I won't even try and make any lame excuses either. I am just busy...(or too lazy) on a daily basis and facebook seems to much easier! AHHHH!!! I HATE facebook but I am shamelessly addicted. I vowed for years that I wouldn't get on there...and now I check it at least once a day. SO LAME. Takes up too much of my life. I much prefer to come back months later and read my stupid blog posts and see the pictures of the kids, then go back a few months and read about how some dumb person I knew once upon a time earned a spotted duck on Farmville. SO! On that happy note- here I am again trying to make amends by posting some of our Autumn adventures. Like our awesome jaunts to Silver Lake up the mountains for some fresh air and stick hunting. My Elijah is obsessed with sticks. Any kind of stick. And he will carry them and hug them and sleep with them and walk around shoving it in random strangers faces -narrowly missing their eyeballs- screaming "A Dick! A Dick!" I know- hilarious right. At least the dick part. Makes me laugh. The fall leaves are so beautiful and this time of year has always been my favorite. I love the fall decorations. I love the crisp air and I love how sometimes you can walk outside on a cold night and smell someones wood burning stove. mmmm. Good stuff. Anyhow- here are some shots of silver lake.






And of course Elijah with his stick. This next picture I thought was stinking hilarious. We were out searching for Halloween costumes and this headband cracked me up...

Now we are on to Halloween stuff. We have taken the kids to several different pumpkin patches and mazes and they have loved it. The witches at Gardner village were a big hit too. I know I am a slacker but the camera was missing in action for most of it. Boo. But I found these two random pictures and I am posting them anyway just to say that I did. The other cute little girl in the picture is Kennedy's friend Jevaeha. My daughter ADORES her.

And last but not least my cute kiddo's in their Halloween costumes. We had a beautiful Princess Tiana and an adorable Frog. The kids loved it and Elijah croaked out "Ribbit's" all night. Very fun. In spite of the rain we had an awesome Halloween complete with trick or treating and carving 13 different pumpkins that we grew in our garden this year. It was an awesome time.

For whatever reason Kenna refused to wear the princess crown that goes with her dress. Oh well. I wasn't going to force her. She is so sweet!

He melts my heart!

Well hope everyone had a Happy Halloween. I am now counting the days till Thanksgiving and a visit from Neil and Annie. Woohoo!

Long Overdue....

I guess you could say that I have taken an extended break from blogging. Which makes me feel just awful- because of the far away family and the awesome birthmom's that actually look at it. To them I say- I am soooo sorry! I love you! And I will try to do better. Things here have been crazy. Summer has been long, hot, and full of activities everyday. Kennedy has been playing soccer and riding her bike all over- and Homeslice is constantly pounding at the door and heading right for the swing set or the garden where he likes to dig in the dirt. We haven't gone anywhere all that exciting- just enjoyed playing closer to home. My camera has been a big problem too- as dumb as this may sound- I know where the camera is but I can't find the cord to charge the battery! So most of the summer we have not taken any pictures! What the heck is my problem?! I know I need to just run to the store and take the camera with me and let some nice electronically smart person find me a cord...but I haven't done it. Maybe tomorrow..........For now- here are some shots of my sweet kiddos at the farm. We had a blast.

Somedays I wish I were invisible...

Some days I wish I were invisible. So let me just preface by saying that if you can't handle me complaining and whining a little bit- then you should just stop reading right now. Because this post is just purely me venting.
I have had a few health scares this week. And now that they are calming down a little bit- I guess I feel more comfortable talking about them a little more. But I have been doing quite a few tests for a cancer scare. THANK HEAVENS the cancer screening came back ok- but that leaves things up in the air as to what is going on. Needless to say- it has been on my mind quite a bit. I have been dealing with the stupid insurance company who doesn't want to cover the testing (because the results were negative) they would cover it if I actually was diagnosed. Which drives me crazy because I have been referred to another endocrinologist for more tests and I am afraid to go and do that- because I can't afford for insurance to not cover me. Anyhow combine that with my own clumsiness... I was doing laundry and I tripped and fell on the stairs and messed up my ankle really good. Black and Blue and crazy swollen. I was feeling pretty picked on this week.
My husband and I have been working like crazy out in the yard to get things looking good for summer and trying to get our garden planted. I was having a hard time because I could hardly walk, and trying to pull weeds and plant was harder than it would have been. The kids were in their glory and getting into everything. Which frankly I feel like is WAY good for them. Elijah was throwing the dirt and digging with his little shovel and every once in awhile he would get a mouthful, which just made me smile. He was loving it. All was well with the world. It was getting pretty late- and time for dinner. I needed to go to the store and figure out what to fix. Even though it hurt like crazy to walk that much- I brushed the dirt off of our clothes. Wiped the kids faces off- and went to the store. I realize that we looked like we had been working out in the yard all day. But hey- we had been working out in the yard all day. Anyhow- I get in line to pay for my groceries and there is a man in front of us who just can't stop giving us dirty looks. I mean REALLY dirty looks. I am somewhat used to it. My family seems to draw a lot of attention wherever we go. And to some extend I understand it. Most people aren't used to seeing transracial families and for the most part people are just curious and not so openly disgusted with us. This gentleman paid for his groceries and went out to his car- we were still in line. There were not real checkers because it was getting late- so everyone was waiting to check out in the "self checkout" lanes. Anyhow- it is my turn and I am hobbling up to check out my groceries and this gentleman walks BACK into the store after dropping off his groceries to come in and yell at me. He asked me if the kids were mine and I said yes. And he proceeded to tell me that I wasn't taking good care of them and that Elijah's hair was awful, and that I needed to be educated on how to take care of African American hair. I tried to explain that I have gone to great lengths to learn how to take care of his hair- and that we had been outside playing in the dirt all day- and Elijah had been rolling around outside which would explain his messy 'do. He told me that obviously what I was doing wasn't enough and blah, blah, blah. I tried to just smile and let it roll off my back while I was there in the store. You have to remember that there were 20 other people in line behind me waiting to check out their groceries, and I was hobbling around on a majorly messed up ankle trying to check out my own groceries, while he is yelling at me in front of my kids and the entire rest of the store. HUMILIATING!!!! I finally got us all out to the car and I just got so...mad/frustrated. I would NEVER presume to go up to ANYBODY- black, white, asian or otherwise and yell at them about their kids. And I have seen so many families at the stores whose kids look messier and more unkempt than mine. It just makes me crazy that I can literally not go anywhere without being scrutinized by someone. I feel like my kids have to look absolutely perfect wherever we go because otherwise we get blasted by both black and white. Kids should be able to be kids. They shouldn't have to feel like they need to be completely perfect at ages 4 and 1. I think it just sets them up for major self esteem issues later on. And NO adult should ever yell about my kids in front of them. SHAME on that stupid, stupid man. I understand that not everyone in this world is ok with families being different races- but for crying out loud- this is 2010! If the world is screaming for equality- than you can't keep judging! You can't scream for equality- and then give families like mine such a hard time just for loving each other. I can guarantee you that if I were black- he would not have come up and said anything to me. Or if my kids were white- he would have not thought anything of it. But because we aren't- he just got all fired up. Enough so that he had to come back into the store and yell at us. I think it just upset me more this time because of all of the medical worries and other stresses that I have been dealing with. SO! After this whole long, crazy, boring post- I will restate what I said at the beginning. Some days I wish I were invisible and that me and my darling babies could just shop at the blasted store in peace.